Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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