Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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