You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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