I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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