Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
