i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
