Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
