when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
