I cockslap morals
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
