Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
