My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
