drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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