I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Randomize
