look no pants
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
