I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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