He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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