its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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