Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
