Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
3 2 1 whiskey
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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