ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
