I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
