this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
