in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
