Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
