I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
