When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
