OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
