You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
