duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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