In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
