Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
