I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
