Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
