Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
His nipple licking is glorious
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