She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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