your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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