My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
