so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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