god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
