5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
