you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
