He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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