You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize