lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
