Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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