That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
tell me about the fingering
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