I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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