allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
