he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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