Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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