The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
